How to take a compliment, or Why I am an Earth mother

Last night as I was kneeling in the dark beside Cece's bed, patting her back before she fell asleep, she suddenly turned to me. Her face was awash in the soft blue light from her globe nightlight atop her dresser.

"You look beautiful, Mama," she said in her sweetest sleepy voice.

"Thank you, sweetie -- so do you," I told her, touched by my daughter's neverending tenderness.

She then continued, in a hushed nighttime voice, very slowly, as if to be sure to choose just the right words, "You look like a big ... big ... big ... big ... round ... round ... round ... round ... Mama. You look ... like a globe, but you don't have that black line around your middle."

"You mean an equator?"

"Yeah, you know that black line in the middle of the globe?" she said.

"Well gee, thanks honey," I said, trying not to laugh (or cry!) in front 0f her.

So the moral of the story is this: When someone pays you a compliment, thank them and RUN! Don't stick around and allow them to elaborate. I did, only to find that I bear a striking resemblance to the planet Earth. This gives whole new meaning to the term "Earth mother!"

Sign us up for the blue team!

Today was the 4D ultrasound. The tech first spotted what she "thought" looked a lot like a scrotal sac. Then minutes later she announced, "Yep. There's his boyhood laying on his leg. Congratulations."

I couldn't help but wonder whether she was commending us on the confirmation that we're expecting a son, or on his apparently rather sizeable boyhood. ;)

So, while we were able to confirm what's cookin' between the baby's thighs, we weren't able to get many shots of his face. Unfortunately for us, the baby who rarely stops moving decided to take a nice long nap during the ultrasound. Most attempts at getting a facial shot were made virtually impossible by either his hand up over his face, or by him snuggling up against my uterine wall. In any case, we got a couple that show him (kinda, anyway). In the full shot of his face I think he resembles Cece ... in the profile shot, not so much ... so it'll still be a surprise when he's born -- 10 WEEKS FROM TODAY. (Yikes!)

Meanwhile, it's hotter than a mother-effer here (92 and humid to boot). I can't wait to go swimming tonight. And yes, I AM sporting a swimsuit at nearly 7 months pregnant. You would too if you had to withstand this heat while having a virtual basketball tethered to your abdomen and the equivalent of an extra 2.5 liters of blood coursing through your veins. I'm hot all on my own, people! Throw me out into this weather & I'm likely to catch fire!

Andrew has arrived! Anyone have room for a pony?

Congratulations to my youngest sister Katie and her husband Jeff! They're now the proud parents of Andrew Lawrence. Andy was born April 21st at 7:21 P.M. He weighed 8 lbs, 4 oz. and was 20" long.

Having just visited them, I can tell you he is an absolute doll of a son! The kid never cries. He sleeps almost all night long, with just a couple brief wakings to eat or have his diaper changed. He's a dream baby. I tried rubbing his tiny hands on my belly in hopes of him giving my baby some of his "Good Baby ju-ju" ...
Guess we'll have to wait another three months to see if it worked!


The running joke is that he's so good that he keeps earning ponies. Katie calls me at least every other day and says, "I swear, I've gotta buy this kid a pony." I think he's got a couple dozen in the bank so far -- so if anyone has room to store a couple for Katie & Jeff, please let me know!

Marino, Cece & I had a nice visit with everyone in California. Cece was thrilled to get to see most of her extended family (her grandpas were notably missed). And we were all so excited to arrive just two days after Andrew was born. I think Cece now has a better idea of what to expect when her little brother is born. Before Andrew, she'd only been around older babies. Now she knows that they really ARE helpless when they first arrive. There won't be any tandem swinging in the backyard for a while!

Speaking of her baby brother, he'll be born just three months from today. Hard to believe. This pregnancy is going by so much faster than when I was carrying Cece. I suppose that with Cece in our lives, we just don't have the time to dwell on the pregnancy. We're always on the go.

But I feel fine ... I tire more easily, especially if I haven't been drinking enough water, and I feel pretty darn fat (thanks, Daniel, for assuring Michael that my complaints were merited), but I refuse to give up ice cream: It's the only thing that calms my late-night heartburn! :)

Everyone in CA wanted to know What are you naming the baby? We had a good time telling everyone that our top choice is Gulliver Cromwell ("Gully" or "Liver" for short), and then watching their reaction. Most didn't seem to know whether we were joking or not. The best response was from Steph's boyfriend, Josh: "Well, you could keep looking. You've got a lot of time left, and that's a lot of name."

To seriously answer that question, I'm leaning toward naming him "Dude." After all, he'll be the only one of us not born in California -- so a name like Dude would give him a sort of honorary status. And how cool would it be to call your son in from playing with, "Dude! Dinner!"

A kind of purple haze ... The wedding's back on!

So, the three of us went to the ultrasound yesterday. Our technician was really nice (aside from making us wait 45 minutes past my scheduled appointment, that is) and pointed out all of the baby's various body parts to us. Unlike when we had the U/S when I was carrying Cece, this time they had a second monitor mounted to the wall so that Marino, Cece & I could all see everything as the tech was doing the exam. That was cool.

So everything looked good: heart has four chambers, both kidneys are there, spine is straight, skull and brain are perfect, there are exactly five digits on each hand and foot ...

About 10 minutes into the exam Cece approached the table I was lying on, touched my hand and asked, "Are you pushing, Mom? Does it hurt?" I stifled a laugh and explained that we were just taking pictures of the baby; I wasn't in labor; the baby wasn't going to come out just yet -- and it didn't hurt.

A couple minutes later she asked the tech, "Is it healthy?" Marino and I commended her later on for being such a good, concerned big sister. I loved her for asking that question and not, "Is it a brother or sister?"

That said, once we knew the baby was in fact healthy, we all wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl.

So the tech zoomed in on the goods. The baby did a nice job of cooperating and was facing us, with legs slightly apart -- but the cord was looped between the legs, making the "gender shot" tough to get. The tech tried for a minute or so to get the baby to move a bit, and finally announced, "OK. It's a girl. That's the labia right there." I looked up and saw what looked like the three tell-tale lines, too. "Cece, you're getting a SISTER!" I told her. She smiled so wide and said, "I KNEW it was a sister! I was right!" (Bear in mind, she had been waffling on her prediction every bit as much as I had -- but who was I to call her on it in her moment of supposed glory?)

The tech then said I could go empty my bladder (thank goodness!) and that she'd be gone for a few minutes to have the doctor review the films. Meanwhile, Cece and I are doing our "Girl Power" dance and having a great ol' time poking fun at Marino about how outnumbered he is. :)

Later on the tech returned with the radiologist so they could do another quick scan to review the tech's findings. All checked out until suddenly I heard them both gasp and say, "Oh ... that's ... different ..." At that moment I swear I thought I saw four legs on the monitor and nearly had a heart attack. (I think it was just the baby's elbows and knees drawn close together.)

The tech and the radiologist continued looking, saying, "So you see that too? Yes ... so we're in agreement ... yes, that's definitely not cord there." And turning to us, the radiologist said, "Um, it looks like it's actually a boy."

At which point Cece stood with her hand on her hip and said, in perfect California speak, "You GUYS, it's a GIRR-RRL."

The tech said, "Well, Cece, I'm sorry, but I made a mistake the first time I looked. You're going to get a brother -- is that OK?"

"No! I'm getting a sister!" she said, and started to cry.

Marino and I are looking at each other, stunned. For the past ten minutes we'd thought we were expecting another daughter. Now they're saying we're having a son?

Seeing Cece sobbing that way got me all choked up & I began to cry too. She just looked so disappointed. I think that if the tech had said, "You're getting a brother" from the beginning, Cece would have been thrilled. But to get excited about one outcome and then so quickly have to wrap your head around the opposite outcome is tough. It was weird for me and Marino -- it must've been much tougher for her.

So, it looks like Cece is getting a baby brother. The tech and the doctor seemed pretty certain -- but Marino and I are still a little skeptical given the circumstances of the verdict. We're sitting in the eye of a pink & blue whirlpool ... and everything looks a little purple now. :)

I get to have a 4-D ultrasound done in about 8 weeks, so we should have a chance to confirm things once more. But for now, think BOY.

In any event, Cece is over the initial shock and is really excited about getting a (we think!) baby brother. When I picked her up from school on Wednesday, she jumped up from the group circle, ran over to me, kissed my belly and said, "Hello, baby brother!"

A few days before the ultrasound Cece had said, "I hope it's a brother, Mom, then when I grow up I can marry him." Marino and I tried to explain that you can't marry blood relatives -- where we live, anyway. So when we were told the baby was a girl, Marino joked, "Well, Cece, I guess you'll have to find another husband." And later, when they changed the verdict to a boy, I said, "Cece -- good news! The wedding's back on!"

An important request

Many of you generously donated to my Light the Night Walk in fall of 2004 and know how much the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society means to me.

On June 4th my cousin Brandy (who is more like my fourth sister) is undertaking an even bigger challenge: to run her first marathon in support of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

My dad Marc was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in December of 2001. Thanks to early detection and rigorous chemotherapy and radiation treatment, he has now been cancer-free for four years. Thirty years ago this April, my paternal grandmother Peggy succumbed to the same dreaded disease. In the mid-70s such a diagnosis was a virtual death sentence. Thanks to medical progress, survival rates have increased dramatically.

But despite these advancements, people are still dying from leukemia and lymphoma. We need to find a cure!

That is why I feel so compelled to ask you to please donate to Brandy's run. Being pregnant this year, I will not be participating in any fundraisers myself -- which is why I am so grateful to Brandy for doing so. A year ago she'd never run more than a mile for high school P.E. class. Now she's going to run 26.2!

No donation is too small, and all are tax-deductible. To contribute, please visit Brandy's Team in Training website: http://www.active.com/donate/tntgla/tntglaBGracia

I thank you wholeheartedly for your support,
Jen

That's right, we didn't send holiday cards this year

I've been hearing a lot of guff about it, and let me be the first to say, you're all right. I do ALWAYS send them, usually with a nice picture of Cece that took about 150 takes to get just right, and a personal note telling you, depending on how long it's been since we last chatted, all that's new with us.

But it's been a busy holiday season, with this being the first Christmas that Cece has REALLY been excited about; Katie, Eden & Zac coming to visit; and all the presents that Santa brought (one of which has been tiring the crud outta me).

Suffice it to say that Santa was very good to Cece this year. She got the "piano" she asked for (a 66-key Yamaha keyboard), lots of books, games, and dolls. But our friends & family were all so kind to her, too. She got an Easy Bake Oven from Grandma Pan, some beautiful clothes (including her must-have accessory, the lavender scarf!) from Delia, a cupcake winter hat hand-knit by Olga, some princess books and toy CDs from sweet Bobbi, a cool set of Tinker Toys from Alex in California, fun Crayola crafts from Uncle Michael, a travel tracing toy from Emma, some cute "Littlest Pets" from Natalie, and gift cards and presents for her piggy bank from Johnny, Grandma Cheryl & Great-Grandma Nana. She was so touched to receive so many letters, cards, and packages in the mail. There are probably others that I've omitted (sorry -- I'm going from my faulty memory here). Thank you to everyone!

But quite possibly her favorite present this year is on a "special order" of sorts, due to arrive in mid-August. In case you didn't catch the text on her t-shirt (a gift from Mom & Dad) at the top of the page, Cece is going to be a big sister right around her 4th birthday.

So now you know why we didn't send out holiday cards. I'm just too darn TIRED! Growing a baby is hard work. :)

So, since no card has wished it yet, Happy New Year to all of you, and once I'm out of the all-day queasy & tired woods, I may just get around to sending all of you a proper card. Valentine's Day, maybe?

Ain't No Holla-Back Girl ...

Cece went to see Santa last Wednesday night. She was back to her usual chatty self this year and told Santa "Merry Christmas" and that she'd like a piano under our tree. Upon hearing that, Santa glanced up at us as if to ask, "Hmmm ... think you can fill that one?"

She had several outfits to choose from, including a darling little Santa dress, complete with faux fur collar and cuffs, but Cece was adamant about wearing this one, because it's her "ain't no holla-back girl" outfit (which is what she calls anything that she thinks resembles something that her idol Gwen Stefani might wear). She DOES look damn cute in it ...

How could I forget Michael?

Upon reading the most recent entry, Michael (aka Cece's "Uncle Stick") immediately called me to complain. "I loved reading all about me in your BLOG," he whined like a spoiled five-year-old.

To his credit, he IS due to visit us in just one week, and yes, I neglected to mention it. So sorry, your highness.

Michael will be driving down all the way from "Pennsyltucky" (Easton, PA) so that he and I can attend what we've lovingly deemed the "Flannel Festival" at the 9:30 club: the Cyndi Lauper concert, with special guests Sandra Bernhardt and Jill ("I Kissed a Girl") Sobule. Michael got dibs on blue flannel; I'll have to settle for red. But that's cool; I'll look festive, right? ;) Michael is a HUGE Cyndi fan and has already warned me that he'll be crying through the entire show. No surprise there. He cries with joy when his mini Dachshund (Lucy) takes a big dump on his lawn. I, however, cry when she craps on my rug. (And yes, she has -- don't try to deny it, Michael!)

All Michael bashing aside, we are all very happy that he'll be coming to visit us again soon. We haven't seen him since early October when we all worked our butts off to prepare for Cece's huge third birthday party (while Michael hid amongst the trees out back, chain smoking & doing anything he could to avoid helping with a damn thing). Our neighbors actually called to make sure we didn't have a homeless man residing in our yard. "Nah, that's just Stick," we assured them.

So now you're in our blog, Michael; aren't you thrilled?

Lesson learned: Be careful what you ask for.

XOXO,
Jen

P.S. If he tries to tell any of you that I live in a red state, you tell him to zip it! I live in a BLUE county with a BLUE governor! So there!

Better late than never!

Last year I had a few problems creating a new post on this blog, and after several failed attempts, I finally gave up. I'm hoping this post makes it to the page and I can pick up where I left off.

It's hard to fathom how much a child can change in the span of a year. Looking at the pictures from last fall is like looking at a different Cece. And we thought she looked so grown up back then! Well, look at her now!

Cece started attending a new Montessori preschool last March and is totally loving it. She has dozens of new friends, wonderful teachers, and a peaceful, supportive, enthusiastic environment in which to learn and discover. I was nearly moved to tears when Cece's teacher, Ms. Karen, told us during our parent/teacher conference that Cece is so enthusiastic and "excited about life." It's wonderful to watch her learn and grow.

We continue to enjoy our lives on the east coast. We are lucky enough to count many of our neighbors as dear friends, and our children are all close, too. I've never experienced the kind of bonded community that we have here. Marino and I continue to feel awed by our luck in choosing the perfect house for our family -- complete with the absolute best neighbors.

Winter doesn't officially start for another couple of weeks, but we've already had three snows, the most recent coming last night. It's definitely shaping up to be a colder winter than last year -- but what wouldn't be? We barbecued on New Year's Day this year, and even washed our cars in the driveway. I don't think we'll be having a 70-degree New Year's for 2006!

We were excited to have my mom visit us last month. Grandma Pam (aka Grandma Pan or Grandma Peter Pan, as Cece calls her) braved her fear of flying and made the trip out from California. We gave her a whirlwind tour of D.C. and spent 5 days visiting and hanging out & giving Mom a make-over. :) We're hoping she'll make good on her promise to come visit again in the spring, when the cherry blossoms are in bloom.

We're going to have more visitors soon: Katie, Eden, and Zac are flying out from Sacramento on December 26th for a 10-day stay. Cece is so excited! She's always complaining to us that "I don't have any friends at my house." When we tell her that she has us to play with, she says, "Yeah, but you guys are my parents." Ouch. So having Eden & Zac (and Aunt Katie) here will be wonderful for her. I promised Zac I would put in an order for some snow while they're here. He's never seen snow before, and is anxious to go sledding. Judging from the amount we've had so far, I'm guessing he'll get his wish!

Christmas is just two weeks away, and I haven't finished shopping. Ugh. Cece's presents are all done, but I have to figure out a few more people's gifts. I guess I'll be doing a lot of shopping online this weekend. Cece's Christmas list is, and I quote, "A piano, cookies, and candy." When she asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I said, "Hmmmm ... how about a baby brother or sister for you?" She shook her head and said, very seriously, "Nope, Santa doesn't have those at the store; what else do you want?" :)

I'm going to wrap this up, just in case it gets sucked into the great Internet vacuum. If it works, I'll post more soon, along with recent pictures.

Ho-ho-ho,
Jen

Fall is in the air!

Fall has arrived! I've been photographing the changing leaves since mid-October, and now there aren't many leaves left to photograph. Yes, I mean that in two ways: 1) I've photographed damn-near all of them, and 2) They've all just about fallen off the trees now. Time to start the snow watch!

The crisp fall days have been gorgeous. Our highs have been in the 60s and 50s, with overnight lows typically in the 40s, sometimes 30s. We had an unusually warm Halloween though. I had worried that Cece would need a coat over her costume, but it was so warm that night (around 70!) that Marino went out in shorts. Go figure. Cece had a blast trick-or-treating in her Jo Jo costume. She managed to a few dozen houses before getting tired out. She walked most of the way, too -- but Daddy pulled her and her buddy Shonjoy in the wagon in the home-stretch.

Cece's Grandma Cheryl & Nana Gail came to visit us for a week, and just flew home to California last night. Cece was so happy to have the company, and to be showered with all that attention. Everyone had a nice time touring D.C. and seeing the monuments. We decided to have an early Thanksgiving dinner so that we could enjoy the holiday with Nana & Grandma Cheryl. We had a delicious feast on Friday, complete with all the trimmings. The highlight was the best turkey gravy I've ever made! :)

Cece is looking more like a young lady every day. Her hair is now well past her shoulders, with just a flip of a curl at the ends. She is taller & leaner than she was even just a few months ago, and is (we think) very mature for her age. Her new favorite word is "actually." She's still as dramatic as ever, and knows just how to play up her disappointment with an "Oh, man!" She's a funny little girl.

We just learned that Cece's best buddy from CA, Alex Beckner himself, will be bringing his mommy & daddy to see us in a couple of weeks. We're all so excited! So stay tuned for pictures of their Fall 2004 reunion!